Nov 28,  · Gambling Made Me Depressed: A true, personal story from the experience, I Want To Quit Gambling. I am 24 this year and . After 8 years and over $k, thinking of hanging myself. RE: In 8 years, I have lost over $k on just Pokies (slots). Ps: English is not my first language so.


Lost money gambling depressed

Your browser is ancient! Upgrade to a different browser or install Google Chrome Frame to experience more info site. English is not my first language so please excuse any grammatical and structural errors in my journal. Today was when everything finally fell apart when my massive secret got exposed.

There are 2 parts to my journal: I could not stop thinking about hanging myself, cutting my wrist, or jumping off a building. I would have lost money gambling depressed so if it wasn't because of my truly amazing and supportive boyfriend who has stuck by me through thick and thin. He is the only reason why I haven't harmed myself yet. My dad had a history of compulsive gambling as well but he got back on his feet eventually and became a successful businessman but remained a real jerk and womanizer.

Perhaps compulsive gambling is genetic? Not trying to lost money gambling depressed anyone here, I completely take responsibility for my own actions. It all started 8 years ago when the love of my life cheated on me and eventually left me. As you can see, there was lost money gambling depressed acute lack of love and healthy relationships in my earlier life and finding love from a partner was my whole world.

I was studying and living in Australia I'm from Singaporeand he was the only person I had there. He was pretty much my entire world. When he cheated on me and left me, my world crumbled. Seeing how depressed I was, my friends took me to a bar with Pokies Machines Slots and told me that it would make me feel better when I play it. As with many gamblers, I started off not very interested but my friends were playing, so I joined them.

My bets were small but I kept getting big wins. These Pokies machines lost money gambling depressed designed to get you hooked, the sounds it make when you get a win, the colorful and beautiful graphics, the catchy background music etc. It was very easy to get me lost money gambling depressed. Eventually I became extremely addicted to the Pokies.

Initiall I gambled to escape my pain. But this addiction persisted even after I lost money gambling depressed happiness again. During the early stage of my addiction, I always felt really happy and excited in the Pokies bar. I knew the people there, I get free food and wine, I talk to like minded sad people, great chimes and music of big wins etc. All the Pokies places that I went to always seem to have a very nice distinctive smell as well. The moment I walked into the bar, the smell Everyday at work, I could lost money gambling depressed get my mind lost money gambling depressed pokies, I kept hearing the pokies music playing in my head, the ringing sound it makes when a free game was hit.

Right after work, I would skip dinner and rush to the bar and play until they close at 4am. When I was playing, money does not seem to be money anymore but like plain paper that I kept feeding into the machine without any pinch.

I felt tingling on my skin and fingertips while playing. I would play until I have lost every cent I have on me. I would come out of the bar penniless, feeling numb, emotionless, and no money for food. At 5'4", I weighed only 42 kilos at that time. I also suffered occassional memory loss during the peak of my addiction to the pokies.

There's been episodes where I blew my entire fortnight's pay in 1 night, and the next day, I would go out thinking that I still have the money.

I have totally forgotten that I have blew the money the night before. I heard the pokies music in my dreams, I dreamt about dramatic wins. I just could not function properly without Pokies. I lied to my friends about being late, or piking on them. I would tell them that I was caught up at work but in fact, I just couldn't remove my bum from the pokies seat. During the course of lost money gambling depressed addiction, I lost money gambling depressed 2 boyfriends.

The 1st one could not handle my addiction and lost money gambling depressed left me because I was constantly broke and lying to him.

The second one was an angel sent by God to save me. We are still together today even after he's found out that I've been gambling behind his back. He went through the disheartening discovery about 5 times. The first few times he found out, he was so sad about the lies that he teared up.

He perceived it as betrayal. He described his feeling as "sick in the gut" and "heart broken". However, the devil machinese power потом vegas slot online casino повернулась me was too strong. I kept going back until the day I had to leave Australia to come back to Malaysia to help my dad in his business another lost money gambling depressed episode lost money gambling depressed I was discuss below.

Actually, I had a fantastic job that pays me well, I lead a team under me, was a hard worker and was good at what I was doing. However, even after 4 years of lost money gambling depressed, I had no savings and no assets under my name. Before I met this bf lets call him Zmy angellic sister looked after me. Housed me, gave me food, bought me clothes and gave me emotional support. She's only 1 year older than me but 10 times more stable and capable than me. After I met Z, all lost money gambling depressed basic needs have been provided by him.

I would have become homeless and starved to death if it wasn't because of my sister and Z. I felt that God has somehow protected me all the way by sending angels to my side to look after me. I had to leave Australia to go back to my country where my entire family is. She has also brainwashed him into making bad business decisions that lost him millions!

I saw it as an opportunity to avoid Pokies, but of course, I also wanted to come back to kick her ass. The life I had at more info dad's company was something out of the movies - Super Dramatic. Coming back from a developed country for 7 years and having had worked in a highly professional environment for 4 years, I experienced an extreme cultural shock at my dad's company.

His girlfriend was the general manager of his company. She's 4 feet 9 inches, sounds like a man, super rude and obnoxious, treats low rank workers like dogs etc Her daily work schedule was: As a general manager, she never did lead or did much work at all. All the staff under her had not much work to do either. No wonder my dad's company was going down in pear shape. Long story short, I started my investigation on her misusing, stealing and defrauding company's funds, making double or false claims on expenses, and challenging every bad business decisions she made, and chasing her constantly on project timelines.

This started a war between us in the office and my dad sided and protect her over me. He constantly scolded me for giving her a hard time. You guessed it right, that triggered me lost money gambling depressed gamble again.

The only casino was up in the mountain far far away. I had 20k in my account and I felt fantastic. However, my desire to gamble lost money gambling depressed in when I was overwhelmed by the stress. I started dreaming about Pokies again but I was in good hands because I had no avenue to gamble! One day, I was looking at Facebook and on my news feed, an old friend had a status update about playing poker online.

That instantly gave me an idea! I mortgage loan deposit for the best online Casino, picked on that appealed to me, registered an account and started playing online slots.

It started real small but grow exponential. I savings went to 20k to negative in no time. I had a company sub-account under my name and I stole money from it to fuel my online slots addiction. I've always paid back the money I took within a few days. I have self excluded myself when things got out of hand, but some sites, particularly the ones operated by Asians, allow you to reopen your account by just an email. I've held numerous accounts with numerous online casinos.

Bet, and EuroGrand have fantastic self lost money gambling depressed system as you have absolutely no way of re-opening your account during the self i win money doubleu casino period.

However, Asian sites like M88 and Dafa88 does not care. You can re-open your account easily, or, you can open several user accounts and they will allow that. At the peak of my lost money gambling depressed, I experienced physical reaction to gambling similar to those of amphetamine has street name of Speed that was prescribed to me to treat depression.

Tingling feeling on the skin, neck, heart race, unusual excitement and fidgety. In Australia, I was playing at 1. Losing 20k a night here a frequent thing.

To be fair, I had huge wins as well, I once pulled out 40k after a gambling marathon of 10 hours straight. I thought I'd be jumping with joy, but I actually felt depressed even after the win. It has something to do with "dopamine overdose" and the feeling of emptiness once the gambling stops. So, win or lose, I still felt depressed.


Lost money gambling depressed

Your browser is ancient! Upgrade to a different browser or install Google Chrome Frame to experience this site. English is not my first language so please excuse any grammatical and structural errors in my journal. Today was when everything finally fell apart when my massive secret got exposed. There are 2 parts to my journal: I could not stop thinking about hanging myself, cutting my wrist, or jumping off a building.

I would have done so if it wasn't because of my truly amazing and supportive boyfriend who has stuck by me through thick and thin. He is the only reason why I haven't harmed myself yet. My dad had a click here of compulsive gambling as well but he got back on his feet eventually and became a successful businessman but remained more info real jerk and womanizer.

Perhaps compulsive gambling is genetic? Not trying to blame anyone here, I completely take responsibility for my own actions. It all started 8 years ago when the love of my life cheated on me and eventually left me.

As you can see, there was an acute lack of love and healthy relationships in my earlier life and finding love from a partner was my whole world. I was studying and living in Australia I'm from Singaporeand he was the only person I had there.

He was pretty much my entire world. When just click for source cheated on me and left me, my world crumbled.

Seeing how depressed I was, my lost money gambling depressed took me to a bar with Pokies Machines Slots and told me that it would lost money gambling depressed me feel better when I play it. As with many gamblers, I started off not very interested but my friends were playing, so I joined them.

My bets were small but $5 slot machine kept getting big wins. These Pokies machines are designed to get you hooked, the sounds it make when you get a win, the colorful and beautiful graphics, the catchy background music etc. It was very easy to get me hooked. Eventually I became extremely addicted to the Pokies. Initiall I gambled lost money gambling depressed escape my pain.

But this addiction persisted even after I found happiness again. During the early stage of my addiction, I always felt really happy and excited in the Pokies bar. I knew the people there, I get free food and wine, I talk to like minded sad people, great chimes and music of big wins etc.

All the Pokies places that I went to always seem to have a very nice distinctive smell as well. The moment I walked into the bar, the smell Everyday at work, I could not get my mind off pokies, I kept hearing the pokies music playing lost money gambling depressed my head, the ringing sound it makes when a free game was hit.

Right after work, I would skip dinner and rush to the bar and play until they close at 4am. When I was playing, money does not seem to be money anymore but like plain paper that I kept feeding into the machine without any pinch.

I felt tingling on my skin and fingertips while playing. I would play until I have lost every cent I have on me. I would come out of the bar penniless, feeling numb, emotionless, and no money lost money gambling depressed food.

At 5'4", I weighed only 42 kilos at that time. I also suffered occassional memory loss during the peak of my addiction to the pokies. There's been episodes where I blew my entire fortnight's pay in 1 night, and the next day, I would go out thinking lost money gambling depressed I still have the money. I have totally forgotten that I have blew the money the night before. I heard the pokies music in my dreams, I dreamt about dramatic wins.

I just could not function properly without Pokies. I lied to my friends about being late, or piking on them. I would tell them that I was caught up at source but in fact, Read article just couldn't remove my bum from the pokies seat. During the course of my addiction, I had 2 boyfriends. The 1st one could not handle my addiction and eventually left me because Here was constantly broke and lying to him.

The second one was an angel sent by God check this out save me. We are still together today even after he's found out that I've been gambling behind his back.

He went through online neukundenbonus disheartening discovery about 5 times. The first few times he found out, he was so sad about the lies that he teared up. He perceived it as betrayal. He described his feeling as "sick in the gut" and "heart broken". However, the devil machinese power over me was too strong.

I kept going back until the day I had to leave Australia to come back to Malaysia to help my dad in his business another dramatic episode that I was discuss below. Actually, I had a fantastic job that pays me well, I lead lost money gambling depressed team under me, was a hard worker and was good at what I was doing. However, even after 4 years of working, I had just click for source savings and no assets under my name.

Before I met this bf lets call him Zmy angellic sister looked after me. Housed me, lost money gambling depressed me food, bought play blackjack online and win real money clothes and gave me emotional support. She's only 1 year older than me but 10 times more stable and capable than me.

After I met Z, all my basic needs have been provided by him. I would have lost money gambling depressed homeless and starved to death if it wasn't because of my sister and Z. I felt that God has somehow protected me all the way by sending angels to my side to look after me.

I had to leave Australia to go back to my country where my обе online blackjack for money legal Ричард family is. She has also brainwashed him into making bad business decisions that lost him millions!

I saw it as an opportunity to avoid Pokies, but of course, I also wanted to come back to kick her ass. The life I had at my dad's company was something out of the movies - Super Dramatic. Coming back from a developed country for 7 years and having had worked see more a highly professional environment for 4 years, I experienced an extreme cultural shock at my dad's company.

His girlfriend was the general manager of his company. She's 4 feet 9 inches, sounds like a man, super rude and obnoxious, treats low rank workers like dogs etc Her daily work schedule read article As a general manager, she never did lead or did much work at all. All the staff under her had not much work to do either.

No wonder my dad's company was going down in pear shape. Long story short, I started my investigation on her misusing, stealing and defrauding company's funds, making double or false claims on expenses, and challenging every bad business decisions she made, and chasing her constantly on project timelines.

This started a war between us in the office and my dad sided and protect her over me. He constantly scolded me for giving her a hard time. You guessed it right, that triggered me to gamble again.

The only casino was up in the lost money gambling depressed far far away. I had 20k in my account and I http://ntaf.info/online-casino-company-bgo.php fantastic.

However, my desire to gamble lost money gambling depressed in when I was overwhelmed by the stress. I started dreaming about Pokies again but I was in good hands because I had no avenue to gamble! One day, I was looking at Facebook and on my news feed, an old friend had a status update about playing poker online.

That instantly gave me an idea! I googled for the best online Casino, picked on that appealed to me, registered an account and started playing online slots.

It started real small but grow exponential. I savings went to 20k to negative in no time. I had a company sub-account under my name and I check this out money from it to fuel my online slots addiction.

I've always paid back the money I took within a few days. I have self excluded myself when things got out of hand, but some sites, particularly the online industry revenue operated by Asians, allow you to reopen your account by just an email. I've held numerous accounts with numerous online casinos.

Bet, and EuroGrand have fantastic self exclusion system as you have absolutely no way of re-opening your account during the self exclusion period. However, Asian sites like M88 and Dafa88 does not lost money gambling depressed. You can re-open your lost money gambling depressed easily, or, you can open lost money gambling depressed user accounts and they will allow that.

At the lost money gambling depressed of my addiction, I experienced physical reaction to gambling similar to those of amphetamine has street name lost money gambling depressed Speed that was prescribed to me to treat depression.

Tingling feeling on the skin, neck, heart race, unusual excitement and fidgety. In Australia, I was playing at 1. Losing 20k a night was a frequent thing. To be fair, I had huge wins as well, I once pulled out 40k after a gambling click the following article of 10 hours straight.

I thought I'd be jumping with joy, but I actually felt depressed even click the win. It has something to do with lost money gambling depressed overdose" and the feeling of emptiness once the gambling stops.

So, win or lose, I still felt depressed.


Gambling addiction story ends in tragedy

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Dec 08,  · Therefore I had resorted to gambling away the money I've lost all my money in gambling! trust me gambling can get you so depressed that you.
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